I can’t specifically recall the first time I saw it, but it was probably during battlegrounds in World of Warcraft, back when I was grinding honor for my season 2 pvp set (I was never that great at arenas, being a spriest in early Burning Crusade, partnered with an arcane mage and ret paladin). I think it was when my team (that is, the Horde! Yes!) were arguing in Alterac Valley over if we should even bother killing Balinda for extra honor points, and I was amused by these comments because it was so easy to kill her quickly and get our honor, then move on. When I said something like, “It’s a quick and easy fight, it’s easy honor, why not?” Someone responded with, “Yeah, let’s rape her!”
Whoah, whoah, whoah. Where did I miss the connection between defeating an enemy put there for the sole purpose of being defeated, and raping an enemy? Oh, I see. I guess rape means kill. And apparently it’s completely normal and accepted. And so it began: I started noticing people using this terminology everywhere. At first, I thought that perhaps it was a rather twisted victory cry that was only vocalized (or typed?) after defeating female enemies, but I was wrong — it became just as common for people to say “We raped them” when we won a battle as a team (sometimes up to 40 players versus 40 other players, and not one person said something like, “hey, don’t say that”), or sometimes even “we raped him” when a raid of anywhere between 5 and 25 players downed a boss (again, no objections). This struck me as so odd. How could I even begin to come up with a reason as to why they’d misuse rape so grossly? Well, I thought, it’s a group of people. Perhaps this is something people just say when there’s a bunch of other people around to “shock” them. Maybe if they’re with friends, or guildmates (a group of people who you regularly team up with to accomplish certain tasks, like dungeons, raids, or player-versus-player combat), whom they probably respect, then they wouldn’t say such things.
But I was wrong again. People can duel other people in World of Warcraft; that is, do a one-on-one fight with no real consequences (such as dying or losing armor durability) other than having anyone in the area see who won the duel, and then the losing avatar grovels and begs in front of the winning avatar, in a sort of, “Oh, you are superior!” fashion. Haha, funny. “I raped you” became just as common as “owned” or “pwned”, which, if you play games, you know these terms have been around for a long time, and are very common in nerdy circles (there are issues, of course, with these words as well; however, that is not the focus of this entry). It actually succeeded in making me entirely uncomfortable, and, in fact, less willing to participate in player-versus-player combat, because, as a woman, it really unnerved me seeing people use the term “rape” so flippantly; to these people, a very loaded term became nothing more than a joke. I began to leave all chat channels because the woman-bashing (i.e., “get back in the kitchen”, “I’m gonna rape you”, or “girls suck at video games”) and growing rape culture got to a point of ludicrousness. One might say, “Oh, just ignore them. They’re teenage boys trying to piss people off.” I know. But the “boys will be boys” excuse just wasn’t flying with me. Nor should it ever, with anyone. It’s a get-out-of-jail free card. That saying allows boys to get away with things that they probably should normally be opposed to, only because they are boys — and I’m pretty confident that they can learn to interact with other human beings in a fairly decent way, right? Unless that saying dares to imply boys aren’t intelligent enough to learn otherwise? Yeah, I doubt it. /snark.
Finally, I wrote a piece for feministing.com on a few things that bothered me when it came to the portrayal of women in video games, and my experiences as a woman who played video games. Feministing has always intimidated me, because I’m not a woman’s studies major who is incredibly well-versed in everything I write; nor am I someone who can qualify every post as an academic essay, complete with a bibliography. (Not that I take issue with this, but I felt my post would be too vague and unfocused for a site of that caliber.) Someone commented regarding my complaint about rape-as-an-analogy-for-defeat, saying, “Well, it’s fantasy. You kill things, but you wouldn’t kill monsters or people in real life. But that doesn’t mean people get all whiny about you killing people. Lighten up, it’s just a term… no one would really rape anyone.”
You know what? I can’t believe people still believe this bullshit. 1 out of 6 women will be sexually assaulted at some point in her life. Is that funny? Well, I guess the rape-joke train didn’t stop in Hellytown, because it really isn’t funny to me. Oh, that’s bullshit, people say. Women make up those numbers, no one I know would rape anyone… they just want to take you to court and brand you a rapist for life. No. Most sane people wouldn’t do that sort of thing. Did you know that most women know their assailants? Yeah, not all rapists are hiding in bushes and smelling of piss.
This summer I was nearly raped by a stranger. Yes, even though I just said most women know their assailants, I just so happened to fall into that category of woman-who-was-attacked-by-a-guy she-didn’t-know. I was drinking with a friend of mine, and we were chilling at a hotel, when we ran into a couple of other guys staying there, too. They were friendly and wanted to drink with us, so we stuck around for awhile. We were all goofing around and having fun — or so I thought, it seemed. Suddenly the two guys weren’t into drinking anymore and told us to get out, so we did. I realized after walking out that I’d forgotten my purse, so I walked back to ask for it. As I stood outside the door, I was thinking of how silly it was, and I hoped they weren’t irritated with me. But the door opened, I was grabbed, jerked inside, and on the bed before I could even know what was going on.
“You look like that kind of girl that likes it rough,” one of the guys said. I looked over at the other guy, who was standing there, grinning like a douchebag. Mainly, being drunkenly entertained by this display before him, and doing nothing to stop it. I don’t know what happened, but I got a ton of adrenaline, kicked the guy and pushed him off me, grabbed my purse, and ran outside just in time to see my friend looking in the hallway for me.
That happened in less than a minute. That quickly, and that unexpectedly. And this isn’t all that uncommon. I was one of the lucky ones. The guys disappeared, and no one could find records of them staying at that hotel. How creepy is that?
A fifteen-year-old girl was gang raped after her school dance this week by several guys. And lots of others stood around and watched this happen. For 2 hours. She was beaten and robbed, and completely dehumanized.
I could go on. I know women who were raped, I know women who are beaten and brainwashed into submission. I know what people do to these women, what they say about them: “Oh, if she wasn’t drunk”, or, “Well she was dressed like a slut, so…”, or even “She deserved it, she turned him on, then she changed her mind.” This is, pure and simple, victim blaming. The victim did nothing wrong; the rapist is the one committing a fucking crime. Now, I know victim-blaming is rampant outside of feminist circles. I’ve heard it all before, and yet, I still get incensed every time I hear it or even see it appear on my screen in World of Warcraft, probably spewed out by some completely naive child. But it still makes me abhorrent of our society’s excuses.
So, tell me, is this still funny? I mean, really, if this happened to your girlfriend, your sister, your mother, even a friend of yours… is this really funny? Does it deserve to be trivialized? I feel re-assaulted every time I have to read people dehumanizing women and making jokes about rape, and I’m sure others do, too. Especially those who didn’t get away before it was too late.
I play games to have fun. There is enough sexual violence in the real world to go around (there should be none, of course), and there is enough pain and degradation directed at women outside of the internet sphere. And, hey, let’s not ignore it: there’s more than enough in the internet sphere as well — just read the comments to pretty much any article pertaining to/written by a woman.
Does this have to bleed into my entertainment as well?